Apr. 26th, 2006

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Close your eyes and think about what you've been missing in your life lately. It could be a person, pet, place, thing, occasion, feeling. Anything at all that you miss dearly. … Challenge #122

There are several things that I miss so strongly that they sometimes become solid in the air around me. There are times that I think I can just reach out and touch them and they will be here with me.

If I had to pick just one thing?

Wilhemina's innocence in the world around us.

I love my sister. I'm protective of her to the point of it becoming detrimental to myself. Growing up, Wilhemina's senses and her belief in herself had been so brutalized and stomped down that she became a mere shadow of the witch she could have been. Through all of this, she had this innocence that no one could touch, and that I vowed that no one would ever destroy as long as I lived.

Wilhemina never saw the ugliness that existed all around us in Beldon Mor. I never shared with her the things that went on in Briarwood. I would protect her from that much of the world, at least. Instead, I shared with her the stories of the unicorns and the centaurs. I told her about my teacher who never said a cross word to me, and the friends and companions I had met in the surrounding lands and kingdoms. I entertained her with stories of the boyos and the coven and how the spiders of Arachna could weave webs like no other witch ever could.

I worked hard to protect Wilhemina's innocence and keep her ignorant of the ugliness that went on outside Beldon mor. In return, Wilhemina listened to my stories and kept my secrets for me. When I travelled to other lands, she protected that absence by telling everyone that I was feeling unwell or she'd make things happen where I would have more time to myself and thus able to go to Papa for my studies.

I had determined that I would only stay in Beldon Mor until Wilhemina made her offering to the Darkness. Then, and only then, would she be able to protect herself and I would no longer be needed to shelter her.

Things don't always go as planned and on that Winsol night, one of the "Uncles" decided that he took a fancy to my sister. He tried to mount her that night... I and a broken bottle explained to him how that would not be happening.

That was the last time I saw my sister---until Lucivar brought her to Kaeleer.

I look at her now and I see the shadows in her eyes of things that she has seen that I had tried so hard to shelter her from. I see the bruises in her mind of things that I had never wanted her to go through. My only consolation in that is that Briarwood had been destroyed so there was no threat of her having been sent there.

She's slowly coming out of her shell here in Kaeleer. The Coven and the Boyos have accepted her as a sister and I think that has surprised her. Papa looks out for her, as does Lucivar. Although if he ever gets her drunk again I will kick his Eyrien ass from here to Hell. Surreal keeps an eye on her and is helping her to have more faith in herself. She's showing that she has a strength that none of our relatives ever gave her credit for. Dejaal stays by her side and lets no one unwelcome come near her.

She's grown and changed, my big sister. She's adapted and she's seen a great many things.

But there are times that I get wistful and I miss Wilhemina's innocence.

Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "The Black Jewels" trilogy; Misc. Books
Words: 609


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