May. 22nd, 2006

kaeleers_heart: (Dreams Made Flesh : _hushed_art)
*Jaenelle felt a flash of sadness as she thought about the question. She didn't like thinking of her childhood much... except for the times she had been able to sneak away and see Saetan... or her friends. They had been the rare glimpses of happiness and acceptance she had received as a child. Well, those and the times she had spent with Daemon when he had been assigned to Beldon Mor.*

It is hard to think of my childhood sometimes. It was not a time that I have many cherished memories of --- at least from the times I was at Beldon Mor, Chaillot.

My most desired ambition when I was a child was to not be as different as I was... and to wear a lesser jewel so my relatives would take notice of me and not think that I was just a difficult child they had been stuck with.

Wearing Birthright Black sets you so apart from everyone around you... and it's made that much worse when you're Witch and you have so much uncontrolled power. It's a lonely path to walk when those who should love you as you love them don't want to listen to you or believe in you.

So, for the longest time, I just wanted to be a normal child with lighter jewels. I wanted to be loved by my relatives and accepted by them and into their hearts. I wanted to not be the one to heal everything around me and not be the one with the responsibility of taking care of the things that had been tainted or destroyed.

After that last night at Briarwood and the horror of Cassandra's Altar, my relatives thought I was dead.

Saetan, Andulvar, Memphis, Prothvar, Draca and the others of the Keep took care of my body while I was away from it for two years. When I came back, I was no longer a child.

Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "The Black Jewels" trilogy; Misc. Books
Words: 322
kaeleers_heart: (Jaenelle : Eurynomeschild)
He did not so much get away as fall into the Twisted Kingdom and remain trapped there until I remembered him and the events of the night that had been the last time i saw him.

Before you condemn, I did not forget about him on purpose, nor did I just ignore his existence.

The last time I saw him, I had been hurt... and badly. I spent two years deep in the Abyss and away from my body while the family watched over me. When I came back, I had no memory of everything that had happened that night. I had no memory of Daemon.

It wasn't until I was eightteen that the memories came flooding back when I was confronted with Tersa's agitation about Daemon needing help and needing help now.

I went into the Twisted Kingdom as soon as I was able to find him and I brought him away from the word sharks that were tormenting him. I lay a path for him to follow... and now I have my Consort and my love.

Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "The Black Jewels" trilogy; Misc. Books
Words: 178
kaeleers_heart: (Jaenelle At The Altar : _hushed_art)
My... mother...

The woman who gave birth to me was Leland Angelline and she was married to Robert... but in love with Uncle Phillip... who was my real father even if he wouldn't acknowledge that. He wouldn't acknowledge that he was Wilhemina's father, either.

But we are not talking about them are we?

As I said, Leland gave birth to me. However, no matter the blood ties, she never acted like a real mother. She never stood up for me when Alexandra or Phillip or Uncle Bobby decided that I was sick-minded and sent me to Briarwood. She never took any interest in me or got to know the child she had produced. I think she tried a time or two, I really want to believe that... but in the end, what matters the most is how many times she just stood there, allowing horrible things to happen without lifting a hand or saying a word.

Leland was never a real mother, not really.

When I think of the term mother as it applies to myself and the way I grew up, I think of a kitchen that always smelled good and arms that were always ready to give me a hug and just talk to me. I think of a library and a dark hall where all of my questions were answered and where I was just myself.

Mrs. Beale and Draca.

Growing up, even before I was hurt and could only visit from time to fragile time, Mrs. Beale and Draca were always there to hold me and give me the things that Leland couldn't seem to bring herself to give me.

Draca and Mrs. Beale helped Papa to teach and to raise me and were the mothers that I needed. Oh, the mothers of my friends always made me feel like family and feel wanted and accepted. but when I think of mothers, the images that swim into my mind are always of Draca and Mrs. Beale.

Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "The Black Jewels" trilogy; Misc. Books
Words: 330
kaeleers_heart: (Jaenelle Darkness : _hushed_art)
A chance encounter that changed my life?

It would definitely have to be the first time I saw Lucivar. He wished for a witch that he could call friend and I heard him... so I answered his call.

He was big and imposing and quite prickly when he asked me questions. He looked like he bit into something sour when I would answer his questions. There was a look in his eyes that I didn't understand until much later and when I grew older and realized what the look meant, it made me wish I had had more control of my power right then. I would have shattered everything to help him.

I never forgot him and I always thought of him. In fact, that meeting taught me how to deal with Prothvar when he wouldn't put me down.

Somehow, I don't think Prothvar would thank him for that.

Meeting Lucivar like that in that place made me see that others could be hurt even if they were adults and I wanted to fix that.

It made me want to protect those I love even more.

Muse: Jaenelle Angelline SaDiablo
Fandom: "The Black Jewels" trilogy; Misc. Books
Words: 188
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